Introduction to Changing Negative Beliefs
Many of us grew up in some level of dysfunction. In our homes we heard statements, judgments, claims and generally abusive, degrading and harming words from those whom we love and, sadly, feared. The repetitious years and decades of negative input from those closest to us created deeply seated core beliefs about how others have erroneously judged and labeled us so that we believe we are inferior, ugly and worth less than those around us. In short – we have been programmed in a poverty of truth and an ocean of fabrication that we hold as self-truth.
The result of toxic upbringing manifests in adulthood where we feel the need to super-perform, but fail miserably, whether as a spouse, parent or in our career. We fail and we fall into a frozen and imprisoned state of depression, or perhaps the fire of mania that pushes those around us away and denies us the very love we yearn for. The cycle of acting out, being rejected and/or abandoned, finding another love, job or place to live and then acting out again continues until we break.
How do we stop the madness? How do we break from the captivity of our false basis of our self-image of being less than or greater than?
Truth versus Truth
Our primary problem is that we mistake contrived and fabricated truth for Actual Truth and, to the astonishment of all; we cling to our false beliefs about who we are and wonder why our lives are in disarray. If I believe that I am inferior, then I think and behave in ways that fulfill that belief. Whatever we believe about ourselves, we become, whether we like it or not. And mostly – we don’t.
Such fabricated truths include:
- “I’m worthless…”
- “I’m not smart enough…”
- “I’m better than those people…”
- “I can’t do…”
- “We’re a poor family…”
- “Rich people are dishonest and cheat others…”
- “We are created in sin…”
- “I’m special/unique – not like those lowly people…”
This is only a fraction of the false beliefs. They have infiltrated and occupied the mind-matter of self-identification. The messages are plentiful and powerful to the degree we believe in them. There is no room for Actual Truth when we believe fabricated truth. In fact, when hearing Truth, we deny it and continue to defend the self-deprecating BS to our eventual undoing.
The result of these beliefs include:
- Failed relationships
- Failure at work
- Excessive drinking
- Drug abuse and addiction
- Sex addiction
- Mood disorders
- Personality disorders
Again, the list can go on and on. The point is – we fail and feel miserable and life is not pleasurable, but a difficult chore filled with pain and disappointment and despair.
The solution, and there is only one solution, is to discover Truth – Absolute Truth – about your creative DNA and who you, and we, really are. Then you can change your negative beliefs about yourself.
How Do I Do That?
Realize that your life cannot continue in the same trajectory as it has. You know, at some level, in your innermost self that the life you’re living is unfulfilling to the extent that you are simply surviving.
Next, seek help. But beware; there are many charlatans in the world who ensnare the lost, weary and weak into their “Answer.” Such is the way of cults and religious zealots. We are seeing this more evident in those whose religious beliefs turn into social anarchy in an effort to make others believe as they do. But not every group with “The Answer” are so blatant or militant. Some are downright believable at first, but somewhere up the line someone is just as delusional and sick as their followers.
There are those who have seemingly found their Truth and live lives of joy, happiness, serenity, prosperity and freedom. Such individuals are non-pretentious, live modestly and have balance in their lives and live in our communities. One does not have to travel to Mecca or some other “holy” site to find Truth, for Truth is universal and can be found anywhere.
It may take several attempts at finding your Truth, but persist – don’t give up. You may embrace a belief system only to outgrow it down the road and find something more suitable. While Truth is Truth, no human institution is infallible.
Pray and meditate for Light and Clarity. Prayer does not mean one needs to have a religion in order to pray. Prayer is a mindset. It is an asking and a claiming process between you and the source of creation. We pray for Light and Clarity. Meditation is a resting of the mind wherein Clarity is obtained. Think of it as a still bucket of dirty water. When the water is still the dirt sinks and the water becomes clear.
Find a mantra that you like. A mantra has several benefits. It helps reprogram brain synapses and it brings change. One I find particularly helpful is:
“I am a Divine Creation of a Divine Creator.”
Repeat this over and over while falling asleep and then during the day. After thirty days you will begin to feel better. When you sense a change in how you feel, add the following:
“Who loves me and accepts me exactly as I am today.”
Here is an incredibly powerful, life changing prayer. It works in a dramatic way and rather quickly too. So hold on, or let go, as your life is about to change.
“Lead me from darkness to Light,
From the unreal to the Real,
From the temporary to the Eternal.”
That’s it. That’s all you need to pray. And when you combine the mantra with the prayer, your life will change for the better.
You are a powerful being of spirit. Your life may feel dead ended but that can change. You can live a life of purpose, significance and value. You can have joy. You can be happy. And you can live in prosperity. If it’s possible for one, then it is possible for everyone, including you.
Dr. Kenneth Chance, D.Div., is the CEO and President of Arrowhead Lodge Recovery, a rehab for men in Arizona. Arrowhead Lodge Recovery is a long-term Arizona rehab program for men age 25 and older. For more information for yourself or a loved one call 1-888-654-2800.
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